Seven and a half years ago, when I moved to San Francisco, I didn't know a soul. I had recently graduated college but hadn’t learned the necessary life skills to make friends outside of a classroom like I had been doing for the last two decades. Many fellow graduates relied on their new job, but I was a nanny. The option of using my coworkers as wing people to meet friends on the weekends would have been awkward. Instead I spent months working 10 hours a day and retreating to my cozy studio to watch reruns of Scrubs. About eight months into this lifestyle (and when I was on the brink of giving up and moving back in with my mom) I was picked up in a bar by a girl who would become my best friend and my lonely months were behind me. Fast forward to a few months ago when Rob and I were embarking on the adventure of moving to NYC. I was in a mild state of panic. Besides the obvious sadness that comes with leaving friends and a city you love, I was worried about repeating my shy habits in NYC and not meeting new people. Granted, this time around is different because I have Rob, but I didn't want us to spend an entire year just hanging out with each other at home. My mission was to meet a good group of girlfriends and some awesome couple friends as quickly as possible once we got out here. I am happy to report that I succeeded in my mission and Rob and my's social life is exactly where we want it.
If you are moving or have recently moved to a new city and you are unsure how to go about meeting new people, try some of the ways I used to meet new people!
- Call upon current friends to introduce you via email or text to friends they know in the area. Don't be afraid to reach out to these friends of friends and grab drinks or dinner with them. Bond over the awesomeness of your mutual friend and your love of sauvignon blanc!
- Dive into the depths of Facebook and find those lost acquaintances from college, high school, middle school or beyond that happen to be living in the same city as you now. Reach out to them again and grab drinks or dinner to catch up! Chances are the acquaintances you might not have been close to in years past will become close friends now that you are both older and wiser.
- Join a Meetup group. We found some great people who share our enthusiasm for board games at a board game meetup at a bar in the Village. Filter your searches by your hobbies and activites you’re interested in to meet other people who share the same passions as you do.
The key is to search inside yourself to find the courage to put yourself out there. It is not guaranteed to work every time. You might go on plenty of bad friend dates, but often you will click with someone and that will the be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.